Loss Of Control
Many Queer people find it difficult from going from having no means to conceive without third party help or medical intervention to then being under continuous testing, medical scrutiny and observatory measures.
Assisted Reproductive technology is essential for most Queer people to add to their family yet many people think of the community as an afterthought.
When most people think of fertility support they immediately think of IVF but many LGBT+ folk don’t need such an invasive procedure as
The fertility issue is more social than medical i.e. needing a donor or surrogate.
Although not possible for every couple or people attending a fertility clinic, one of the disadvantages for Queer people have is not being able to try to conceive with a partner outside of the clinic. You are at the mercy of waitlists, booking lines and securing a place on your ovulation date for treatment.
COVID has also had a major impact of more than doubling waitlists for clinics across the UK. The age when you wanted to have hopefully had a child may have long passed before the clinic is available for support. This can be a huge loss that should be acknowledged.
There can be a huge shift from hearing nothing for years or months to then all systems go with blood tests, STI checks, swabs and smears.
You then are monitoring your uterus’ every move, monitoring your cycle, peeing on ovulation sticks, reporting your menstrual cycle to the clinic, doing monthly pregnancy tests and reporting the result asap to the clinic even if you’re not feeling emotionally ready to process.
There’s not much variation or choice when it comes to treatment so it feels like you enter a continuous race track or conveyor belt in treatment until hopefully, you have a pregnancy.
Equally, if you do become pregnant there’s no further support from the fertility clinic, you move straight to maternity.
It definitely feels like a whirlwind and not much is in your control while going through such controlled measures and regimes for the best result.