We’re currently in the process of sourcing our sperm donor. To be honest, the process has been frustrating and limiting in opportunity. 

We were told last April that the NHS in Glasgow would have a free sperm bank available by the start of our treatment. 

This took a lot of pressure off as sperm from European banks are expensive with lots of additional costs, amounting to thousands of pounds. 

We were keen to take up the offer of the free sperm bank as private bans are not something we can definitely afford at this time. 

A few red flags started to appear in our pre-treatment phase, where nurses were telling us that we would be allocated sperm over the phone with little mention of choice or options. When we questioned this, we were told we’d need to speak to the endocrinologist about that as the nurse wasn’t sure. 

We were warned that they had very little supply, which I was prepared for but I wasn’t aware of just how little the supply was and the subsequent lack of choice depending on different factors that I will come to a little later. 

We are presently at the stage of speaking to the lab. I managed to get through to them today. I spoke to the staff who were lovely but a few things about the process being explained have been giving me doubts. 

They told me they did have sperm available and the number of donors in the bank as a whole were two people. 

I have been sent over profiles but I have been warned they have very little information in them and obviously no identifying information.  I’m going to look over these with Riley later tonight. 

I don’t feel  100% comfortable that two sperm bank constitutes a full sperm bank with full consideration of choice. 

One test I had to do Cytomegalovirus (CMV) its a general infection that people can carry and transmit without ever know they have it. It usually causes no issues. I did test negative but if I use the sperm from a positive testing person, I could contract CMV congenitally. If passed on to the child in my pregnancy or at birth it could lead to birth defects and congenital anomalies and other symptoms; Unexplained jaundice, anaemia, infant seizures,  vision and hearing issues and developmental delays. 

Of the two donors available at the clinic, one has a positive CMV result and the other tested negative. 

I was told I could take the risk and use the positive donor as the risk of transmission is small but could affect me and the child.

CMV can be harmful if you are immune-compromised. I am not currently but after trying to conceive and hopefully being pregnant and having our family, I would be hoping to go back on immune-compromising medication for arthritis. I definitely don’t want to risk creating chronic health or my child if that were to happen and potential complications for myself if I become positive and then need to live with immune-compromising medication.

I feel like this only leaves me with the one option of choosing the negative donor to ensure the safest option. I don’t feel like I have a choice.

I was prepared for the choice to be limited but I wasn’t expecting a service of just two donors. It’s definitely given me a lot to think about. 

I might need more time to think